The Simple, Essential Way I Start Every 1:1

The “one word check-in” and why you should use it

TLDR: The one-word check-in leaves more room for nuance and additional context than similar self-assessments, with the opportunity to build trust in a light, creative way. I amend the 1:1 and subsequent asks to my direct report’s state of mind, making space first and foremost for their holistic wellbeing.

For a tad more context, read below:

Photo by airfocus on Unsplash

At Venture for America training camp (in 2018, mind you, so long ago!) a group of fellows brainstormed ways to integrate mental wellbeing at work and shared previous approaches.

One friend brought up a method she used during a mental health conference: starting ever session with a one-word check-in. Each participant described their overall wellbeing in one word and could either add context or pass to the next participant. For example, someone could say “turbulent” and explain their cat is sick, the vet bill was unexpectedly high, and their company isn’t giving our raises, OR they could say nothing.

What I love most about this exercise is its implied safety and group responsibility. Safety because each member shares to their comfort level. Responsibility because once everyone is aware of a participant’s mindset (or extenuating circumstances), the group has an opportunity to help that participant by changing group behavior or expectation. It’s a responsibility that can scale beyond the scope of the group’s time together, but it’s not expected.

I remembered this moment when planning out one-on-ones. Asking “how are you?” often elicits politically salient answers (“Great! I’m really energized for this project!), while the “green-yellow-red” assessment can feel too vague to be helpful. The one-word checkin is a simple solution that helps both parties holistically understand one other.

Because you can choose literally any word, the touch point also turns into a creative exchange. Some words I’ve used recently: “over-indexed,” “peaceful,” “gaaaarrggh,” “energized,” “periwinkle.” Finding the most accurate expression for your state of mind becomes a fun, productive challenge.

Now I’m not saying you should treat every meeting like a mental health conference, but I am saying starting every meeting with a one-word check in built team trust in meaningful ways.

Part of what makes this method successful is knowing your counter part’s Trust Equation. Generally, people value one of four variables more than the others:

• Credibility: People who value credibility index towards proven track records, towards people who voice their insights and ask incisive questions. Expertise is valued more than intention.
• Reliability: This person values knowing their counterpart will act dependably, whether thats by being punctual, sending regular updates, or acting even-keel in the face of challenge.
• Intimacy/ Openness: Some teammates gravitate towards those who share more of themselves at work, or otherwise conduct themselves in a way that builds a feeling of safety.
• Lack of Self Orientation: Do you know someone who puts their entire focus on others, a business problem, etc.? Knowing someone is focused on something other than themselves can be a huge driver.

Every variable is important here, but knowing which one your direct report values most will dictate how you should respond to both good and bad one-words.

Most employers/ managers know mental health is wildly important to work and productivity, and we can improve it by tweaking our words. Communication is the daily proof that builds trust, which makes every touch point a trust building opportunity. Your question now may be “how do I make mental health awareness more actionable?”

Here’s what I do.

I not only include both of our trust equation preferences in our shared 1:1 doc (linked template, if you want one!), but also highlight our preferred communication styles and ways of working (including how we like to receive feedback, values, and what high and low energy performance looks like externally). This is all in an effort to ensure our interactions aren’t a needless friction point, and could even be a necessary support.

Let’s update our interactions, be more aware of holistic health, and start with slight tweaks to established routines.

Hey, I’m Amy. I’m a content and community person at an SF based EdTech startup, but I’m also a lot of things. Follow along for thoughts on EdTech, startup life, the creator economy, continuous learning, and designing your life.

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